Universal Gay Day
by SingingSongbird
Summary: It's Universal Gay Day at McKinley High and you all know what that means! Warning: Very explicit, disturbing, unsanitary, and dumb. Read at your own risk. No rape, if your wondering. I think I have every character included that's significant. cept ANGRY..


**Don't fucking ask. Me and my friend came up with weird shit and ****I got bored so I wrote it out. I don't feel like updating my other shit, either. But I will eventually. Don't take any of the following offensively, if you find it that way, I don't know. It's 1:50 am so fuck off. Review if your sexy.**

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><p>It's Universal Gay Day at McKinley High and you all know what that means...<p>

Kurt, Blaine, Karofsky, and Santana busted in through the school doors with one great kick, each holding a huge ass fucking turret gun in their arms with ammo strapped all around them. They wore some bad-ass shades, too. Santana was sure to pop in her favorite cigar to add to everything as well. Smoke poured out around them from a source they are unsure of, most likely the Gods of fucking kick-ass, but that's okay.

All the student and teachers cowered in the hallways, wetting their clothes with pee and possible other liquid unknown to man.

"It smells like fucking piss in here," Karofsky grunted lowly.

Blaine inhaled sharply with a pleasant sigh.

"Ah yes, the scent of fear," he smirked, whipping his hair around like a whore.

Kurt smacked him across the face. Blaine let out a yelp before gently caressing his own face and staring at Kurt in offense.

"Blaine, we are on a fucking mission. Get your fucking damn shit together," Kurt spat. "You are going to be fucked so hard later I swear to fuck."

"Fuck yes!"

Santana whacked the fuck out of both of them.

"That's nasty as shit," she remarked, before facing the crowd again. "Fucking tone down the homo-mones a little. Mother fuck."

"_Hormones, _Santana."

"Whoremones, whatever! I don't fucking care," she retorted. "Let's head to the queer room."

"_Choir _room, San-"

"Fuck, Kurt! Correct me one more fucking time! Do it!"

"I'm done."

"Okay."

They walked down the hallway, snarling at a few students before busting the door open. Mr. Shue was speaking in the middle of the room, without his pants or underwear on, as always. On account of their sudden arrival, everyone gasped and turned to look at them, including Mr. Shue who was quite aroused by the spontaneous entrance.

"Fuck! Put that thing away, man!" Karofsky cried out, shielding his eyes from Mr. Shue's choad.

"God fucking- _fuck!_"

"Holy shit, I'm going to vomit a goddam rainbow over here."

"Power through it, bitch."

"Why aren't we singing?"

"Bro, I ain't here for this shit I'm going home. Oh mother of-"

"EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I BUST A CAP IN YOUR CRACKA ASSES, YA HEAR?" Santana roared, pointing her gun at Artie. "Sit the fuck down boy!"

Artie gave her a flat look.

"Ah right. We- The Glorious Homosexuals, are here to basically massacre you," Blaine explained, his eyebrows doing flips and curles as he spoke. "Any question and or concerns?"

Quinn suddenly stood up. They pointed their guns at her before she shot them a panicked look.

"Ay! Put that shit down! I just want to say I've been fucking Rachel over the summer and still to this day so don't fucking shoot me!" She insisted.

Finn shot out of his seat.

"What? What the fuck!"

"Finn, sit the fuck down," Rachel calmly demanded. "And yes, we have been fucking."

Rachel made her way over to Quinn, stripped her of her clothes, and started eating her out in front of everyone shamelessly.

"OHHH GOD, RACH!"

"Not bad," President Obama commented before exiting the classroom.

Santana suddenly shot Artie. Blood began to spray everywhere from his brains and the whole room cried out and slipped around on the blood.

"Holy Lord Tubbington! You killed him!"

Santana pointed her gun at Brittany.

"Mothahfuckah. I am so tired of all your goddamn shit, Brittany," Santana growled. "You are dumb as a fuck and you know what? For more than my whole life I've been dealing with you. Ya know? And you just sleep with boy after boy after boy. Jesus balls. When the fuck is it going to be Sanny's turn?"

Brittany's eye were glossy with tears. Waves of emotion crashed down onto the room as the background began to fade to black around Brittany and Santana until it was only them in a spot light.

"It's always been your turn, San," Brittany murmured, her words echoing.

Santana gasped, tears streaking down her face. Brittany stood up and went to touch her face.

Suddenly, all the color came back and Brittany was on the floor with blood all over her. Santana stood in silence for a moment before turning to a timid Blaine Anderson.

"What the fuck was that?" She asked in a threatening tone.

He cleared his already clear throat.

"I- uhm. My finger just got all trigger happy! I swear it was an accid-"

Santana shot Blaine down.

"_NO!_" Kurt cried out, dropping to his knees. "NOOOOO!"

Karofsky turned to Kurt with tears in his eyes.

"Why won't you ever love me!" He cried out, throwing his gun down to the floor only to have it recoil somehow and shoot back at him between his eyes.

Tina and Mike overdosed in the background somewhere. Mr. Shue had found his way to a safe closet where he could touch himself at the sight. Mercedes was in a corner viciously eating her tots. Then, Emma Pillsburry opened the door trailing rainbows and Disney wildlife animals behind her.

"What's going on?" She asked with a cute, innocent smile.

Santana turned around.

"I need you..."

Ms. Pillsburry gasped.

"I need you, too..."

They started ferociously making out as Kurt cried over Blaine's body.

"This isn't fair! This wasn't in the script!"

Karofsky's dead body spazzed. Rory turned to Finn.

"I need you..."

Puck stood up.

"I need him more..."

Finn stood up with them.

"We all need each other!" He announced before they proceeded into a three-way.

Sugar tried to find a way around Ms. Pillsburry but only ended up humping Santana's leg which worked out well since she had multiple orgasms per minute. Kurt scanned the room and found everyone was busy. So he took Blaine's dead body, laid it out on the piano, and started to fuck him too.

Brad burst through the doors.

Everyones stopped to stare at him. Mr. Shue opened the closet door a little to peak out.

"What the-..." Brad grunted and cleared his throat before continuing.

_"WHAT THE FUCK!"_

His roar was so loud the whole school blew up.

…..._20 years later..._

"No one really knows the true tale of what happened that day the school blew up, thought many horrible rumors have been spread about it," Shelby explained to her questioning student.

She was the only lone survivor of the event and it was secret. Her star student stayed to ask her about the event and if she knew anything, but little did they know she knows everything.

"And also, _rumor has it_," she whispered hotly. "Your hot for a...teacher..."

The student see what she randomly did there for no apparent reason.

The End (I would say Fin but that looks like Finn and he died getting it up the butt.)


End file.
